A few
days ago we were asked to prepare a talk about a thing, a feeling, a
person or a subject that stands close to my heart. There was just one
topic popping up all the time into my head. My father – the person
I admire the most in this world.
My Achan
(meaning father in Malayalam) is 50 now and is a central government
employee and I truly adore him to the core. People say there are no
such things as perfect. I do not know what others think.. But if a
line de-markates the beginning of perfection, to me, my Achan is that
somebody who stands closest to the it- both as a person and as a
parent.
He has
one of those rags to riches stories and it has been quite inspiring
for me. He was a university rank holder as he did his post
graduation in Maharaja's College, Ernakulam, Kerala, although he
could rarely attend classes due to his demanding job which he had to
take up to support his studies and family consisting of 4 other
siblings.
Multi-talented
Superdad – is a right description for him I guess. He is good at
studies, sports, arts, carpentry, writing and almost everything that
I can remember at this point. I have always been very proud of him
and the fact that I was born to him. And I'm sure I'll continue to
be.
To me,
he is a man of a thousand ironies. The ironies that make me smile
every time I reflect on them.
As a kid,
Achan was always religious and used to argue with his atheist dad for
the acceptance of the existence of god. He later went on to become a
communist cum atheist who can give you enough and more convincing
evidences on the non existence of such supreme super power.
After
obtaining his degree in Economics from Deva Matha College, Pala,
Kerala, he joined a seminary in Sikkim to be a priest where he
practically played almost all the indoor and outdoor games for the
following 2 years. He later dropped the idea, had an inter caste
marriage with my mother and became our father instead.
My elder
sibling is a girl and the day I was born, the Doctor asked my father
whether he was sad about both his children being females. He answered
in a question.. “Are you unhappy you are a girl?” The doctor
shook her head and my dad was like “Then why should I be unhappy
about my children?”
The next
notable and funny thing about him is that for the first time when
computers were introduced into offices in India he was one among the
thousands who protested on the fear that computerization of offices
might lead to unemployment of educated youth. But now he is like one
of the craziest tech savvy people, utilizing possibly every part of
the wonderful world of options and facilities like internet- banking,
e-commerce, e-newspapers, etc on the web. He likes to remain updated
about all the changes in the industry and asks us to do that even.
Another
incident I remember about my father as narrated by my mother happened
when I was admitted to the hospital when I was 7th grade. I lay
shivering vigorously, without any consciousness in the ICU of one of
the best hospitals in Kerala. 2 weeks and my disease was not yet
diagnosed. The doctors tell my parents the filmy line they use when
they cannot guarantee anything - “Pray to God!” Even then, unlike
in most of the households it wasn't my dad consoling my weeping mom,
it was just the opposite. And my atheist dad asks, “Why not me,
God? You should take me if you wanna take one, not her.”
If I was
to choose employees from all mankind for my future firm, I am ready
to pay him all my capital to make him work for me. I've no words to
describe how proud I feel when his colleagues calls him the best
employee. Even watching him from home I've felt that he is that
dream employee that every employer yearns for. One who is ready to
sacrifice all his off days, devote his nights to learn deeply about
what he has to do and whole heartedly attend all meetings and
trainings and at the same time does all his duties as a family man
without slightest fail.
As a lay
human being, he never smokes, nor does he drink or bully. He has
always been a perfect role model as to how to love ourself first. He
exercises, briskly walks half a mile daily and despises junk food and
meat. Why talk about junk food? He doesn't even like foods that are
too spicy or oily. We always joke saying he'll be happy with just
steamed vegetables and fish throughout the day!!
Both my
parents work and my sister used to do her graduation someplace far
from my home, so that meant I had to stay all alone at home for like
half a day, daily. I usually got bored from watching TV all day long
and used to hunt for books to read and keep myself busy. One such day
I noticed an old, dusty brief case on the top shelf of the guest room
cupboard. A curious me abruptly pulled it down and found inside at
least a dozen note books. All of which belonged to my father when he
was doing his graduation.
I know
that reading other peoples' personal stuff is rude and against
etiquette but at first I didn't know all those were something like
his personal note books that belonged to him when he was in his
twenties. If I had known I wouldn't have read it but now I'm thankful
I did.
Some of
it contained the top news and controversies of that period and his
strong views about the topics. Some other contained some beautiful
poems and articles or those incidents that happened to him when he
was about my age. All that he had written were amazingly wonderful. I
always knew that he had good command over English and literature but
the depths of his articles made me adore him even more.
But what
interested me most were all those letters he wrote in some of his
diaries, written as if it was written to my mom. My friends always
tease me telling I am not born for things like love and romance. May
be they felt so because I did not just have a never-care attitude
about their little teenage “love” stories but I also hated them.
But now I think its because I have seen real love stories right in
front of my eyes that run successfully even now. My mom and dad had a
love marriage but that doesn't mean they always spend their days
singing duets. They've had their fair share of hard times like any
other couple. But the manner in which they come out of all their
fights, together, is what I see as evidence for true love.
One of
the most influential dialogues I've ever read or heard is from his
diary. As I told earlier it was written as though addressed to my
mother. It goes like this..
“Ani, I
hate my parents. I hate them so much that I want to revenge them. Do
you want to know what my revenge is? I'm going to love you as
fiercely as my father hates my mother and I'm going to work hard and
give my children all that I've missed in my childhood. This is going
to be my revenge.”
After
reading the diaries I had this deep doubt in me. This feeling of
guilt about us being the obstacles of my father's growth. I had the
feeling that we hindered his path to fame and name. As a writer or as
a scholar. I wondered why he never tried Civil service for the second
time or why he never published any of his articles unlike some of us
who always get high with whatever junk we write.. But his books had
answers for everything and even this. There was this part where he
tells my mother that his motto in life is to have us, his kids and
give them everything that we deserved and I can assure that he has
given us much more.
My father
is not just this. He is the one person in my life who is ready to
forgive and forget all my faults and sins and see me as nothing, but
his innocent little daughter. He is the one person who is ready to
sacrifice his nights to do my class charts and diagrams and asks
nothing in return. He is that one person who was ready to miss all
his shots in a badminton game because I wanted to win. He is the one
who sacrificed a promotion and a pay hike to be with me and the rest of the
family. He is not just my dad, he is in fact my superdad!!
