I
cherish the call of a lovely September dream
In the quiet
corridor of fun and fantasy, adventure and ecstasy
Fun withheld my
entire being
Was calling out to
me, luring me, tempting me.
Too careful I had
lived all my life
Now it’s time to
burst out of the pupa
Break free from the
chains I had locked myself in
Break free from the
cobwebs of memories and scary dreams
Break free from
prejudices, judgements and the burden of cruel expectations.
Sun my wings, bake
new hopes
And slowly fly away
To where I think I
belong
To where I believe
I belong.
The blue sky awaits
me, but it’s new, there’s some fear for sure
Childhood crawls,
but youth is short and old age is scary
Yet youth tempts,
thrills and drags in
Like the flies
around the flame
Or men around the
bait.
The blue sky
tempts, thrills and make me wish to be dragged in
When I fly away
now, my childhood ends
But if I don’t,
then my hopes end.
- Ardhraprakash
(wrote in Class 12, 2012)
do you really think that you are getting more freedom at this age than your childhood... if you ask me, i will say a big no.. may be you can break the chains you locked but the chains around you are getting tighter day by day... "break free from the cobwebs of memories and scary dreams"?? really??? childhood memories are the best... nd scary dreams, now we are watching scary realities around us.. judgements and expectations?? well..i dont have to say more... you knew it..
ReplyDeleteAs a child thats what we expected, but sorry we were horribly wrong... sad but true.. :(
i kno wat u r thinkin in ur mind!! bt dis poem, eventhough it was written just 7 months ago.. to meappears like it ws written ages ago.... u myt thnk... wat problem dis gal myt have??! so silly n stuff... lots of people having life n death probs... n yes its true... i've never had any huge problems in my life... but it seems so only nw... all dose silly seeming problems were huge 4 me den... it is so 4 everybody i guess..
ReplyDeletewen i wrote dis poem.. i had my class 12 exams going on... i didnt wanna be an engineer or a doc... but something very unusual... people i knew were climbing up ladders in their respective careers and i knew a lot was expected upon me... I was scared about under performing... about failing in life.. failing in front of everybody... if all those resources my parents were providing with me would end up wasted.... even in school i wasn't spared ever!! So there was this huge pressure of making it big...
and about freedom... yeah.. in a manner.. i get more freedom in life than i had... i am a UG student... i now decide.. what i wanna buy or when i come back to the hostel n ol dat... bt d big irony is that now dat i've gotten the freedom... i dont feel like using it... i feel like i need to be constantly instructed by someone... sometimes i end up thinking... dat life without choices will be much better... no confusions.. no regrets... nothing like that...
I cant say i miss childhood... because.. even now i dont feel like i've grown up... but i regret the fact that i wont be celebrating every moment of my life with my family like i used to do... that i wont be able to break down in front of them for any silly reasons like i used to do... i hate the fact that the gap of physical distance distances people internally too... and the thing i'm scared most about is that i might get used to all these new changes and might end up independent...
and oh yes... childhood memories are sweet... but even beautiful memories can be cobwebs... it can pull you down... keep you from taking risks... and scary dreams... please look back... im sure every person alive might have had scary foresights about future at least once... and for a girl like me.. who was and to an extend is obsessed with future, i used to have scary dreams even with my eyes open. :)
wat i'm trying to say is that... i had my own reasons for each and very single word that is dere in the poem... it might have been a pubertal hormonal sudden emotional breakdown... but just like first grade math was impossible to solve when i was in first grade... all these worries of mine.. mattered a lot to me wen i wrote dis...
however... thank you.. for the healthy criticism... expecting more from you.... :)
well... i got u.. but it will take tym for to understand what i said above... may be 3-4 yrs exprnce out there will help u... i felt the same wen i joined ma college... i thought i will get more freedom but it wasnt like the way i expected... of course i had absolute freedom out there but... i dont know how to explain this to you.. but surely u'll face such situations soon...
ReplyDeletebtw dont expect anything from a stranger... you just cant expect something from someone you dont even know... :)
well... i kno.. its kind of my policy too... as gautham buddha sd.. "" expectation is the root cause of disappointment." :) I ws jus bein 4mal.... bye....
ReplyDeletegud...stick to that policy to the end.. very useful concept... "What makes earth feel like hell is our expectation that it should feel like heaven.” ... true fact... :)
ReplyDelete:)
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