Why I admire him!!

A few days ago we were asked to prepare a talk about a thing, a feeling, a person or a subject that stands close to my heart. There was just one topic popping up all the time into my head. My father – the person I admire the most in this world.

My Achan (meaning father in Malayalam) is 50 now and is a central government employee and I truly adore him to the core. People say there are no such things as perfect. I do not know what others think.. But if a line de-markates the beginning of perfection, to me, my Achan is that somebody who stands closest to the it- both as a person and as a parent.

He has one of those rags to riches stories and it has been quite inspiring for me. He was a university rank holder as he did his post graduation in Maharaja's College, Ernakulam, Kerala, although he could rarely attend classes due to his demanding job which he had to take up to support his studies and family consisting of 4 other siblings.

Multi-talented Superdad – is a right description for him I guess. He is good at studies, sports, arts, carpentry, writing and almost everything that I can remember at this point. I have always been very proud of him and the fact that I was born to him. And I'm sure I'll continue to be.

To me, he is a man of a thousand ironies. The ironies that make me smile every time I reflect on them.

As a kid, Achan was always religious and used to argue with his atheist dad for the acceptance of the existence of god. He later went on to become a communist cum atheist who can give you enough and more convincing evidences on the non existence of such supreme super power.

After obtaining his degree in Economics from Deva Matha College, Pala, Kerala, he joined a seminary in Sikkim to be a priest where he practically played almost all the indoor and outdoor games for the following 2 years. He later dropped the idea, had an inter caste marriage with my mother and became our father instead.

My elder sibling is a girl and the day I was born, the Doctor asked my father whether he was sad about both his children being females. He answered in a question.. “Are you unhappy you are a girl?” The doctor shook her head and my dad was like “Then why should I be unhappy about my children?”

The next notable and funny thing about him is that for the first time when computers were introduced into offices in India he was one among the thousands who protested on the fear that computerization of offices might lead to unemployment of educated youth. But now he is like one of the craziest tech savvy people, utilizing possibly every part of the wonderful world of options and facilities like internet- banking, e-commerce, e-newspapers, etc on the web. He likes to remain updated about all the changes in the industry and asks us to do that even.

Another incident I remember about my father as narrated by my mother happened when I was admitted to the hospital when I was 7th grade. I lay shivering vigorously, without any consciousness in the ICU of one of the best hospitals in Kerala. 2 weeks and my disease was not yet diagnosed. The doctors tell my parents the filmy line they use when they cannot guarantee anything - “Pray to God!” Even then, unlike in most of the households it wasn't my dad consoling my weeping mom, it was just the opposite. And my atheist dad asks, “Why not me, God? You should take me if you wanna take one, not her.”

If I was to choose employees from all mankind for my future firm, I am ready to pay him all my capital to make him work for me. I've no words to describe how proud I feel when his colleagues calls him the best employee. Even watching him from home I've felt that he is that dream employee that every employer yearns for. One who is ready to sacrifice all his off days, devote his nights to learn deeply about what he has to do and whole heartedly attend all meetings and trainings and at the same time does all his duties as a family man without slightest fail.

As a lay human being, he never smokes, nor does he drink or bully. He has always been a perfect role model as to how to love ourself first. He exercises, briskly walks half a mile daily and despises junk food and meat. Why talk about junk food? He doesn't even like foods that are too spicy or oily. We always joke saying he'll be happy with just steamed vegetables and fish throughout the day!!

Both my parents work and my sister used to do her graduation someplace far from my home, so that meant I had to stay all alone at home for like half a day, daily. I usually got bored from watching TV all day long and used to hunt for books to read and keep myself busy. One such day I noticed an old, dusty brief case on the top shelf of the guest room cupboard. A curious me abruptly pulled it down and found inside at least a dozen note books. All of which belonged to my father when he was doing his graduation.

I know that reading other peoples' personal stuff is rude and against etiquette but at first I didn't know all those were something like his personal note books that belonged to him when he was in his twenties. If I had known I wouldn't have read it but now I'm thankful I did.

Some of it contained the top news and controversies of that period and his strong views about the topics. Some other contained some beautiful poems and articles or those incidents that happened to him when he was about my age. All that he had written were amazingly wonderful. I always knew that he had good command over English and literature but the depths of his articles made me adore him even more.

But what interested me most were all those letters he wrote in some of his diaries, written as if it was written to my mom. My friends always tease me telling I am not born for things like love and romance. May be they felt so because I did not just have a never-care attitude about their little teenage “love” stories but I also hated them. But now I think its because I have seen real love stories right in front of my eyes that run successfully even now. My mom and dad had a love marriage but that doesn't mean they always spend their days singing duets. They've had their fair share of hard times like any other couple. But the manner in which they come out of all their fights, together, is what I see as evidence for true love.

One of the most influential dialogues I've ever read or heard is from his diary. As I told earlier it was written as though addressed to my mother. It goes like this..

“Ani, I hate my parents. I hate them so much that I want to revenge them. Do you want to know what my revenge is? I'm going to love you as fiercely as my father hates my mother and I'm going to work hard and give my children all that I've missed in my childhood. This is going to be my revenge.”

After reading the diaries I had this deep doubt in me. This feeling of guilt about us being the obstacles of my father's growth. I had the feeling that we hindered his path to fame and name. As a writer or as a scholar. I wondered why he never tried Civil service for the second time or why he never published any of his articles unlike some of us who always get high with whatever junk we write.. But his books had answers for everything and even this. There was this part where he tells my mother that his motto in life is to have us, his kids and give them everything that we deserved and I can assure that he has given us much more.

My father is not just this. He is the one person in my life who is ready to forgive and forget all my faults and sins and see me as nothing, but his innocent little daughter. He is the one person who is ready to sacrifice his nights to do my class charts and diagrams and asks nothing in return. He is that one person who was ready to miss all his shots in a badminton game because I wanted to win. He is the one who sacrificed a promotion and a pay hike to be with me and the rest of the family. He is not just my dad, he is in fact my superdad!!