Yes I do.
Very strongly in fact. But if you ask whether I believe in all the
God business or what you show me as God, then I’m sorry..
Now when
I’m going to tell what I know about God, I need to tell you this
first up. I’m just a young girl with barely 19 years of experience
and very limited knowledge. I do believe in God whom I like to
describe as a higher power, a genius and more importantly, a helping
hand.
My father
as I have mentioned in articles before is an atheist and my mother, a
strong believer. So, naturally I’ve acquired something that can be
called a blend of these ideas. I believe that there is something very
powerful in this world- a figure whose nature or structure or
characteristics are not pre – defined.
My
mother, a very strong believer in His highness, always tells me that
prayers are strong desires and when you are praying, you are
repeating these aims, these goals and these desires to your sub
conscious mind. It seems logical too. Sometimes when you repeat
something over and over, fiercely with passion and dedication, your
mind and body already starts working towards the goal even without
your knowledge.
For me,
it is something more than that too.. I have seen and is seeing many
people with in and out faith in god, who worship God with all their
hearts and follow the rules and procedures to worship as told,
without fail. It must really be working for them. There should be
some truth in it. Otherwise, they wouldn’t follow the routine
without any positive effect expected.
To me God
is like my mother. You don’t always remember her but sometimes when
something bad happens to you, she is the first one and mostly the
only one you can turn to because you know that how much ever boring
or uninteresting or risky your problem might be, she will never leave
your side.
Let me be
frank. I’m a very selfish follower actually. I remember him when I
need him. I cry, I pray. Not necessarily in temples but I do remember
the figure once in a while. But still, God has been graceful upon
me. He has given me almost everything that needs to keep me happy –
a family, virtue to be with the people who passed away for a
considerable amount of time. But still I usually complain, nag and
even forget God at times. I am amazed at the patience the guy has
that despite all this, he never gave me away to diseases or accidents
(which I was really vulnerable to) or from cruel and painful
experiences. I’m intelligent enough to score marks, behaves
properly with people, Ive been the school captain couple of times and
I study in one of the best universities in India. And sometimes it
makes me emotional too. Because it makes me think again that God is
mother.
I believe
in spirit not the rock you say is god. My own sister told me long
back about a guy who said that Prayer should not be about visiting or
offering valuables in such established places of worship.. But prayer
is when you get in your room, close the doors and windows and then
quietly tell him directly what you want or what you want to say.
But please do not get the idea that I repel temples or churches.
These are holy premises known so because of the serenity, the peace
and the positive atmosphere. Once I have been to the Mookambika
Temple and the experience was magical. For a long time, I kind of
felt really cleansed. The same way I believe that as I truly believe
in the power and ability of God, I do not have to go in search of him
always or butter him because he is powerful enough to hear my prayers
even if I just whisper it to myself sitting on my bed. Also, another
funny thing is that God, who is supposed to be the creator,the owner
of the entire universe is gifted with food, sweets, gold and what
not!! I just have 2 words for that “HOW LAME!!”
When I
started writing it today, I was confused, a little bit afraid too.
People told me I was an atheist. But I knew I was not just that. So,
after reading the article or rather the debate of my sub-conscious
and analyzing the way the it has turned up, I am now sure I'm a
strong believer of God and how lucky I am to have somebody to hope
from or most importantly blame for my own mistakes.
